Relationship Signals
Notice the pattern,
not just the problem.
Learn to recognise green, yellow and red relationship signals while keeping context, repetition, repair and impact in view.
What are you trying to work out?
Start with the tool that best matches what is happening. You can explore the deeper signal guides afterwards.
Relationship Signals Checker
Reflect across care, respect, trust, boundaries, support and repair to get a broader view.
Use the checker → Something keeps happeningPattern Tracker
Record frequency, sequence, triggers, responses and outcomes so you can see what is repeating.
Track the pattern → I'm confused or doubting myselfReality Checker
Return to facts, evidence and observable behaviour when confusion is making things harder to assess.
Reality-check it → I know something needs to changeBoundary Builder
Clarify your limit, what you are responsible for and what you can do if the pattern continues.
Build a boundary →
Explore the three levels.
Think of green, yellow and red signals as prompts for observation, not permanent labels for a whole relationship.
Green Flags
Behaviours that support trust, dignity, mutual care, accountability and healthy independence.
Explore green flags →Yellow Flags
Patterns that may need clarification, observation, slower pacing or a direct conversation.
Explore yellow flags →Red Flags
Behaviours associated with serious disrespect, coercion, repeated harm or loss of safety.
Explore red flags →Do not rely on colour alone.
Context matters. What happens after the problem often tells you as much as the problem itself.
What happens after something goes wrong?
- Can they listen without punishing you?
- Can they take responsibility?
- Does behaviour change consistently?
- Can both people have needs and limits?
What does the pattern look like over time?
- How often does it happen?
- Does it become worse under stress?
- Are explanations matched by action?
- Are you becoming increasingly anxious, small or confused?
Check what you are noticing.
Use the Relationship Signals Checker to look at the wider pattern across trust, care, respect, boundaries and repair.
Open Relationship Signals Checker →Explore Behaviour Library.
Learn more about confusing behaviour patterns, manipulation, repeated dynamics and practical ways to respond.
Explore Behaviour Library →