CONNECT · BEHAVIOUR LIBRARY

Relationship Manipulation

Understand patterns that create intensity, dependency, confusion, pursuit, withdrawal, or false hope within close relationships.

BEHAVIOUR GUIDE

Common relationship manipulation patterns

Intensity

Love Bombing

Rapid attention, praise, closeness, or commitment creates attachment before trust is established.

Promises

Future Faking

Detailed promises about a shared future keep hope alive without consistent action.

Minimal contact

Breadcrumbing

Small amounts of attention maintain your investment without offering a real relationship.

Return cycle

Hoovering

Contact, apology, nostalgia, or crisis is used to pull you back after distance.

Withdrawal

Silent Treatment

Communication is removed to punish, control, avoid accountability, or create pursuit.

Instability

Push-Pull Behaviour

Closeness and rejection alternate, making the relationship difficult to predict.

Reward cycle

Intermittent Reinforcement

Occasional affection or relief strengthens attachment to an otherwise painful pattern.

HOW TO RESPOND

Move from intensity to evidence

01

Slow down

Reduce pressure to decide, disclose, commit, or reconcile quickly.

02

Watch actions

Compare promises with repeated behaviour across time.

03

Protect access

Limit private information, availability, and emotional labour while trust is uncertain.

04

Track the cycle

Record closeness, rupture, withdrawal, return, and whether anything truly changes.

TOOLS

Protect clarity and pacing

YOUR NEXT STEP

Let behaviour—not potential—guide your investment

You can care about someone while adjusting your access, expectations, and effort to match what is actually being demonstrated.