CONNECT · COMMUNICATION

Active Listening

Listen with curiosity and care without absorbing responsibility for every feeling, agreeing with every interpretation, or losing your own viewpoint.

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ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS

What helps someone feel heard

Attention

Be present

Reduce distractions and listen for the main concern rather than preparing a defence.

Clarification

Ask open questions

Invite detail instead of assuming motive or meaning.

Reflection

Reflect back

Summarise what you heard and check whether you understood accurately.

Validation

Acknowledge emotion

Recognise the feeling or impact without automatically agreeing with every claim.

Space

Allow pauses

Do not rush to solve, correct, reassure, or redirect the conversation.

Boundary

Know your limit

Listening does not require accepting abuse, repetition, or unlimited emotional labour.

A USEFUL DISTINCTION

Validation and agreement are different

Validation can sound like

  • “I can see why that felt upsetting.”
  • “That makes sense from your perspective.”
  • “I understand this matters to you.”
  • “I want to make sure I have heard you correctly.”

You can still say

  • “I remember it differently.”
  • “I do not agree with that conclusion.”
  • “I can listen for ten more minutes.”
  • “I need time before I respond.”
TOOLS

Support a balanced conversation

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Conversation Planner

Prepare what you need to say and what you need to hear.

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Reciprocity

Check whether listening and emotional support flow both ways.

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Boundary Builder

Set limits around repeated or overwhelming conversations.

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YOUR NEXT STEP

Listening should make room for both people

A healthy conversation allows one person to feel heard without requiring the other person to disappear.

Plan the conversationCheck reciprocityBuild a listening boundary