STARDUST SELF · CONNECT TOOL

Safe Person Checklist

Reflect on the patterns a person shows when you have needs, boundaries, feelings or a different point of view. Safety is built through repeated behaviour—not promises or intensity.

Begin the checklist
This tool supports reflection, not diagnosis.

People can feel safe in some areas and not others. Use the result as one source of information alongside your experience, context and any professional support you need.

WHO ARE YOU CONSIDERING?

Choose one relationship

Use a first name, initials or role.

OBSERVE THE PATTERN

How often is this true?

Answer from what you have repeatedly observed—not from potential or apologies alone.

1. They respect a clear “no” without punishment, sulking or pressure.
2. I can express feelings without being mocked, dismissed or made responsible for theirs.
3. They accept differences and do not require me to agree to keep the peace.
4. Their behaviour is reasonably predictable across people and situations.
5. They take responsibility without blame-shifting or rewriting what happened.
6. Their apologies are followed by meaningful changes in behaviour.
7. They protect my privacy and do not use personal information against me.
8. They support my relationships, independence and access to outside help.
9. Care feels mutual rather than dependent on pleasing, performing or proving myself.
10. After spending time with them, I generally feel respected and able to be myself.

Safety is something a relationship repeatedly demonstrates.

You are allowed to slow down, reduce access, seek another perspective and choose relationships where your boundaries and humanity remain intact.