Reality Checker
Reality Checker
Slow the situation down, separate what you know from what you are worried might be happening, and look at the facts before deciding what to do next.
Your feelings are real, even when the full picture is unclear.
This tool does not ask you to dismiss your intuition. It helps you
organise the information so you can respond from clarity rather
than panic, pressure, or self-doubt.
Give yourself a moment to settle
You do not need to feel perfectly calm. You will usually get a clearer result if you are not rushing or already overwhelmed. If you can, make a cup of tea, get comfortable, notice the room around you and take a few slow breaths.
You are checking what you know, what you think may be happening, and what is still uncertain. You do not have to solve everything right now.
What happened?
Describe what happened as simply as you can. Focus on the event first, before trying to explain why it happened.
What do you directly know?
Include words, actions, dates, messages, records, witnesses and outcomes that you know about directly.
Fact or interpretation?
They deliberately excluded me because they want me to fail.
I was not invited to the meeting, and I was responsible for part of the work discussed.
What meaning are you giving the situation?
An interpretation may be accurate, partly accurate, or incomplete. Naming it clearly helps you work out what still needs checking.
Could any thinking habits be affecting how this feels?
Choosing one does not mean your concern is wrong. It simply shows where it may help to slow down and check more information.
What supports or challenges your interpretation?
The aim is not to talk yourself out of your concern. It is to look at what supports it and what may complicate it.
How certain do you feel about your interpretation?
This is your current sense of certainty, not a measure of truth.
What else could explain the situation?
An alternative explanation does not need to excuse harmful behaviour. It simply helps prevent one interpretation from becoming the only possible story.
A useful distinction
You can consider alternative explanations without ignoring impact. Someone may not intend harm and still behave in a way that requires a boundary, clarification, documentation, or distance.
What is happening inside you?
When you are very stressed, everything can feel urgent. Notice how your body feels before deciding what to do.
How stressed or worked up do you feel right now?
Choose the number that best reflects your current state.
What would help you gain clarity or protect yourself?
Choose one next action. You do not need to resolve the entire situation immediately.
Grounded question starters
You slowed the situation down.
This summary reflects what you entered. It does not determine another person's motive or provide a final verdict.
The situation
What you directly know
Your interpretation
Evidence review
Other possibilities
Your internal response
What you can say to yourself now
Consider additional support
Your responses suggest high activation, serious fear, or a situation that may affect safety, employment, reputation, finances, or wellbeing. Consider seeking qualified support and avoid taking unnecessary risks while highly activated.
Words you may hear
We use everyday language first. These terms can help you recognise the language used in psychology, counselling and workplace support.
Interpretation: the meaning you give to what happened.
Cognitive distortion: a thinking habit that can make a situation feel more certain, extreme or personal than the available facts support.
Mind reading: assuming you know what another person thinks or intends without enough evidence.
Catastrophising: jumping quickly to the worst possible outcome.
Emotional reasoning: treating a strong feeling as proof that something must be true.
Nervous system activation: when your body becomes more alert and ready to react under stress.
Grounding: using simple actions to reconnect with the present moment and what is happening right now.
Save this reality check
Save a copy in this browser so it can be used with your Stardust Self dashboard.
Your answers stay in this browser. They are only added to your dashboard results when you choose “Save My Result”.