STARDUST SELF · CONNECT TOOL

Friendship Audit

Pause and look at one friendship as it is today—its care, reciprocity, safety and fit. The aim is not to grade a person. It is to notice what the relationship consistently creates.

Begin the audit
Friendships naturally move through seasons.

Lower contact does not automatically mean a poor friendship, and one difficult period does not define the whole relationship. Look for the broader pattern, context and willingness to repair.

CHOOSE ONE FRIENDSHIP

Who are you reflecting on?

Use a first name, initials or a private description.

NOTICE THE CURRENT PATTERN

How true is each statement?

Choose the answer that best reflects the relationship over time.

1. We both initiate contact or make an effort to stay connected.
2. There is space for both people’s experiences, needs and good news.
3. I can be honest, imperfect and reasonably myself around them.
4. My boundaries and other relationships are respected.
5. We can discuss hurt or tension without cruelty, avoidance or retaliation.
6. Apologies and repair lead to meaningful change.
7. They can celebrate my growth, success and other connections.
8. Support feels mutual across time, even if it is not equal every week.
9. Our current values, interests or ways of relating still have enough overlap.
10. After contact, I generally feel connected rather than diminished, anxious or depleted.

A friendship can matter and still need to change.

You may choose appreciation, a conversation, clearer boundaries, less access, a different kind of friendship or a gentle ending.